When I was young, I can say with all confidence , I was a huge introvert. I guess I was born that way,I feared people and interacting with them,and that thing stayed with me for years until I got sick of my own self.
It’s when you set very high standards for yourself and start comparing yourself with others, your self-esteem goes way down, and if someone thinks that way, they probably have a low self-esteem anyway. so it’s a vicious circle, never-ending misery and self loathing.
It was when I went to college, that I had a huge make-over. I don’t want to describe it, but I can tell you that it has changed a lot in me.
I learned that you should never be picky when it comes to choosing your friends, and by that I mean , what really matters is the people themselves, not their social statues, financial statues, cool kids or nerds.. its nice and healthy to have them all. to elaborate more on that, let me ask you this: what good can come out of befriending “cool kids” who have no morals and can so easily stab you in the back ? what good can come out of befriending geeks and nerds who also have no morals, and may never help you in studying and only want you as companions during the assembly hour?? both are equally dull and useless. there are cool kids out there who have morals and ethics,and can truly love you. and there are also other kids, who come from a modest humble background,and can also make very good friends who can be there for you in hard times. do you get my point?
another thing is that,I shouldn’t judge people until I test them, or a test can come along without planning,suddenly something happens that opens your eyes and mind to things that you never thought they existed. sounds familiar?
I’ve experienced that it’s very important to make a good first impression when meeting new people ( in case you care about that in the first place). so that’s what I got from it
- being too talkative repels people
- talking about yourself all the time also does it, boasting about your culinary powers or how much money you have really makes people loathe the site of you, they’ll think you’re a snob. or nouveau riche
- being too quite is also annoying, when people start initiating questions, and you answer boldly,with just a few words,makes people think badly of you. you are either uninterested in them, or a snob who doesn’t wanna talk to “people” or someone who’s just too stupid to figure out the right words to say… not all people bother themselves to come up with excuses on why you don’t wanna talk. they judge (at least this is what I see).
- when it comes to guys, being too showy of your muscles, and boasting about your powers and how strong you are and how many guys you’ve beaten to death is kind of a turn off,girls usually think this is pretty dull
I also learned that there’s no harm or danger in initiating conversations with people,I used to be afraid that people might act rudely or wouldn’t be as welcoming or friendly, but turns out , that there are lots of really nice people just waiting for a gesture from someone,,,you can never blame yourself for trying it out.
I’ve seen that people, are not always who they seem to be. I’ve perceived some people as incredibly annoying and irritating, but then I discovered that they are the absolute opposite, and they can be very good friends too. and vice versa, there were those people who you -at one point- considered them your friends, but then it turns out that they never were,and you were fooled.
Being too sociable gets you into trouble, I was never the “social butterfly”,but I’ve seen some of my friends “complain” about the misfortunes they’ve had when they befriended certain people,and how they regretted knowing them in the first place. there are 2 sides to that story. one that says, there’s no harm in making lots of friends, just keep an appropriate distance and you’ll be fine. another one says, you should establish a filtering system,not everyone can be suitable to fit in your ” circle of trust”.
to me, I side more on the 2nd side of the story. I attempt to make friends with people who I like and want to get to know better, and I welcome those who I sense that we both have things in common, and someone I can feel familiar with at some point, not completely different from. I automatically drift apart from those that I have nothing in common with. it just happens, I never planned on using a filtering system, it just happens on its own… but that doesn’t at all mean that you shouldn’t have “acquaintances”.
I’ve read that quote somewhere, people change and they forget to tell each other! but here I am, telling those who read my blog that I’ve changed a little bit. not entirely,but a fair amount.