A break from Myslef

in 1...

The Faith, sculpted in stone from Badajoz -Image via Wikipedia

Have you ever had a very rapid mood shifts in one hour?? I do.

it’s so disturbing to have so many emotions all together,contradictory emotions I might add. this is exhausting I have to tell you.

Many things around me trigger such feelings, things I see on television, or read in newspapers or even read on Facebook or even videos posted on YouTube!

it all started when I got the link on FB about a new book,this book was originally a blog entitled “I wanna get married”,the blog became so successful that book publishers offered to publish it, and it was a HUGE success. then after a  while, someone decided to make a TV series out of it,and it is a huge failure (still airing now). the point is, i still can’t understand what made this blog so damn popular in the first place??!!

I got an answer from watching a popular night-time talk show,where the  blog author was a guest there, she said something about being spontaneous and speaking from the heart..because when you speak your heart out truthfully, it will reach people and touch them too.

Fine. I agree. but there are soo many bloggers who do speak their heart out and they make you feel acquainted with them the minute you read their posts,and there are lots of talented writers who have their own unique style..again, what made them soo damn popular like that?? is it luck? is it because their blogs are a novelty?? ( i mean talking about taboos maybe?? or implying a new trend in writing other than traditional arabic?) Maybe. I ‘ve asked my self a question and I answered it,that’s interesting.

while I was watching, I got depressed,because i lost faith in myself ,i thought i can never do something clever enough like what she did,and the irony is,she didn’t even plan to become a famous blogger or anything, it’s just happened. pure luck I guess, although I claim I don’t believe in luck.

then I thought,with enough will power and determination, I can do it. I remembered a line in one of MJ’s songs called keep the faith,he said all you need is the will to want it, and a little self esteem…well said . but I felt slightly burdened by that,because it’s as if am in a fight,fighting negativity and laziness all together!

then I felt happy because at least am Writing something instead of lying around doing nothing!

and now am saying, raising the bar too much isn’t good. raising the bar a little around would be just fine, yes the competition is fierce with the thousands and millions bloggers around the world, but nothing happens in a blink of an eye..God created the world in 6 days…

so now am not winning anything, just some mood swings and a never-ending chain of altering thoughts that burden me and make me see the world from a very dark narrow depressing stupid perspective! I need to catch a break from myself!


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