Marriage


“Marriage is hard. I don’t know how do people do this,It’s unnatural,men and women,are not meant to co-exist”. I am gonna side with Ashton Kutcher on this one.Just a bit.

Just today I was thinking,what the hell did I do to myself? Why the hell did I get married?! My fairytale dreams of post marital life are gone,they’re replaced with more realistic ones and discovering new things,about my hubby and myself.

Six months have passed since we said “I do”, I can say whole heartedly,I only felt like a married couple t for about a month or so,the remaining months were at my mom’s house. Reasons are plenty..

First,My appartement is located in a place that is mostly under-construction, So there isn’t enough security around the place,No neighbours yet,cause the building is still new,and no super intent.Not to mention,It’s really scary to live in the desert!

Second,As you’ve heard of the Egyptian Revolution that broke out on January 25th of this year,and the withdrawal of security forces from the streets,and the release of dangerous prisoners,It was clear that staying in a poorly inhibited mansion would be a crises. It was dangerous ,so again ,we went to my mom’s house.

Oddly enough,that decision to leave our house and live with my mom and brother for a while was a mistake. It made me realise the importance of what I call “the quality-alone time” for both of us. Its not that my mom and brother don’t give us a fair amount of privacy or anything,but knowing that we’re living among other people,in a place that isn’t ours,drifted us away for some time.

I noticed that my husband isn’t attached to me anymore,or the house,ultimately. He started spending more time with his friends ,to the extent that I thought he was a bachelor again. Frankly I didn’t think for an instant that living some place else can place such damage,my mom always said that we should live together alone like a husband and a wife,but she also said that its we have no other choice now,I can’t live there in the desert all by myself till my husband comes back from work.Burgulars and other prisoners were out loose in the streets,and several accidents have been reported of them breaking in houses and stealing,some rape crimes were also reported, It was a mess!

I also became distant from him,I barely saw him.His time was divided between protecting the street among other residents,working and sleeping. the thing is,during the time he used to spend guarding the street at night,he was accompanied by his neighbours and friends,so It was a  fun time for his as well,he got to spend more time with them.It was a bad time for us indeed,The revolution took its toll on us! But I don’t blame it,I mean I’m thankful for God that this has finally happened.

That incident opened my mind to something.Couples should “train” each other to be more indulgent and commited.It’s easy to feel not committed when you’ve got no children or bills to pay. Yes,we paid no bills during our stay at mom’s house,and we don’t have children yet,no schools to attend,nothing! So it was like we’re married but not functioning as a couple.Weird.

I took the matter for granted,thinking I’d be too stupid to stop my husband from seeing his friends or spending time with them,I made it seem like it was no big deal to me, and that its was rightful for him to have this need to spend time with them joking around and talking nonsense. I took it too far,and so did he.

Little by little we distanced ourselves from each other,untill that moment came,we had a terrible huge fight,he left mom’s house,and I left it too,I went to our house as a couple and I stayed there all alone thinking he wouldn’t come cause we had a terrible fight,and I didn’t tell him that I was heading off to our house. He took some time to blow off his steam and he came. We decided to live together at this house no matter what,we finally realised how important it was and what we have missed all these months by not connecting and engaging in each other’s lives. It made me happier than ever,I felt like a real wife now who has responsibilities and things to look after.

So that is something that young married couple should look for,spend more quality time with each other alone,do something fun and interesting together.Because seriously,Not spending enough time for any reason comes with an awful package of trouble and a sense of loneliness for both of you.Something you surely don’t wanna experience.

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8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Noel
    Apr 23, 2011 @ 04:17:45

    I agree with you, quality time together is important. Don’t let the stress of life get in your marriage. Take care.

    Reply

  2. 4valentines4words4poetry4you
    Apr 23, 2011 @ 10:52:25

    interesting blog and yes marriage is interesting mine was very short and i often wondered why i did it but i soon learnt why ended it and glad to .but for those who are happy well done and those try well its upto you its a learning experince and sometimes can be wonderful to. from kevin have a nice day.

    Reply

    • Yasmine Wael
      Apr 23, 2011 @ 23:58:09

      Yeah I mean,I believe that happiness is an inside job,that you somehow create it in your marriage that’s why they say marriage is hard work…but thanks for the comment….and good luck:))

      Reply

  3. Trackback: Love or Arranged? | An Author at Work
  4. Mahogany Gray
    Dec 13, 2011 @ 07:09:01

    The grass isn’t greener on the other side, its greener where you water it. Its the people with bitter testimony who discourage marriage. There are plenty of people who married for the right reasons at the right time & are happier than ever. Never let a bitter example or experience alter your decision and right to be spiritually connected to your soulmate that was designed for you. Don’t marry for superficial reasons (career, looks, status, car etc) because none of those things will bond you together. Those things are temporary. Seek meaningful, common purposes. Experience this journey together knowing that there will be challenges & obstacles. But only the strong survive. God Bless 🙂

    Reply

    • Yasmine Wael
      Dec 26, 2011 @ 00:16:10

      Really sorry for the late reply…
      You’re absolutely right,there will be obstacles along the way,and strong will with determination are needed to live a meaningful and a happy life journey.

      Thanks for the comment 🙂

      Reply

  5. Brayan
    Jul 08, 2012 @ 00:47:02

    Verry correct my dear.

    Reply

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