Get Over Marital crap,Get busy

Lots of married young women,and older women complain that their husband is emotionally unavailable. I know,it’s depressing. That cliché’ about the pre marital spark that goes off by time,routine takes over,and your life seems too boring and you may even be so depressed ,that you perceive it as a pile of shit.

This wasn’t what you had in mind when you said I do to this guy.He might have been honest when he promised you a life time of happiness, but something always goes wrong. Maybe in the upcoming lines we’ll know what it is.

Pregnancy comes with a package of hormonal imbalances and mood swings.Women can relate to that because these symptoms are pretty much like the menstruation phase. I don’t think a guy in the 21st century hasn’t heard of “mood swings” and all the hormonal crap the media talks about. But why do men seem that cold?

It gets a bit worse towards the end of pregnancy. Because you become larger, you suffer from abdominal pains and leg cramps and,you go the bathroom way too much!! And that’s the worst part, if he takes you out to dinner,you’ll excuse yourself to got the restroom like 10 times.

But that’s not even the core of the issue. Some men, are “embarressed” to walk around with their expecting wives. Don’t ask me how they even allowed themselves to feel that way. Women have sensors,they can feel and read between the lines even if there are no spoken words. So if the husband notices that his wife looks a little gloomy suddenly,he might be the cause ,or the main cause along with other fears related to pregnancy and this life changing event.

Regardless of how hard the husband tries to persuade his wife that non of the crap inside her head is true, she trusts her instincts. Even if she wants to believe him.

So ,instead of lying around,bitching about how your life is lame and how bored or depressed you are, Get Busy. It is the truth universally acknowledged,that when you keep yourself occupied,your focus will shift away from all the negative thoughts that drain your energy and waste your time. Or at least it will help you focus  less on what you hate about your surroundings.

If you’re pregnant,and you are physically unable to work at the moment, your friends are all working now and got busy with their lives,you can come up with a bunch of ideas to keep yourself occupied:

a. Write a blog, if you like writing and expressing yourself that way, do it.

b.Read a nice book

C.Play vedio games

D. Arrannge for some friends to meet up every once in a while

E. Cook,that’s fun

F.Play some music ( if you know how to play the piano or the guitar )

G.Go baby shopping (Don’t do it all at once,buy a few things every day)

H.Watch friends or stand-up comedies

I.Start writing a birth plan,it’s very important to let your OB know what you really want.

J.Stare in the middle of no-where and do nothing

K. Take a bubble bath or go swimming

L.Go to the spa (have a nice massage,manicure/pedicure soak,or a Moroccan bath)

M.If you’re interested,start planning a baby shower,plan a theme,the type of food you’re gonna serve,etc.

I got bored with listing things. You can do whatever you like to keep yourself happy and entertained. Be your own wind keeper ( A book mentioned in friends sitcom). If your husband is emotionally unavailable,inattentive to your needs or fears & shares nothing with you… its heart breaking. But not the end of the world.

Make him pay for it in your own special way. Some men need to step up and face their responsibilities,the hard way.

If having a civilised discussion or a fight,or ignoring him all together doesn’t help, Prove to him that you have other things to do in life other than thinking about him.

You owe yourself some happiness and satisfaction, think about all the women who got knocked-up by their boyfriends and had to face all the pregnancy phases all alone. Just thinking that there are others who suffer from stuff a lot worse than yours,can help you see things in a more realistic manner.

That’s why marriage is hard,you can’t expect your husband to be prince charming all the time. Hey,you’re not perfect either! Patience and perseverance is needed.

This isn’t a call for women to surrender and give up on their dream of having the life they dreamed of. In fact, I think it can be a practical solution to save your sanity,if you lose your sanity and become insane,you’re marriage is doomed to faliure.

Because sure as hell there can be good qualities about your guy,he can’t be all terrible (unless he’s troubled or has communication issues).You should always remind yourself that you’re living on mother earth,not your fantasy land. So your effort can be divided into entertaining yourself whichever way possible,and trying to

And know this, No bad deed ever goes unpunished.


If I Owned my own newspaper…

That  might be a possible dream,considering that I minored in Journalism during college. But that’s not the point.

The point is,I see lots of things in the newspapers I read everyday here in Egypt,That I disagree with or even hate. Such as:

  1. Biased news pieces: Just because it’s an opposition newspaper doesn’t mean that they have to “frame” their pieces of information to serve their interest. It’s almost as if its unfair to shed some light on the positive steps our new government is taking along the bad steps that they disapprove of. In other words,Lack of objectivity.
  1. Posting graphic images:That’s what I hate the most! Specially when they post it right on the front page! So it’s the first thing you see in the morning. They do have a point you know,they wanna make your day,in their very special way.It’s completely immoral and unethical for many reasons. Because first,they should give a warning,which means that if they had to print such an image,they should place it elsewhere,but definitely not the front page. Because ,some people (myself included) are sensitive when it comes to seeing graphic photoes.There’s even a type of phobia to dead corpses called Necrophobia. So I guess they should be more attentive to that aspect. Plus,Children might also be susceptible to this kind of fear. The Second reason is that,it’s a violation of the sanctity of death. Enough said. I don’t care if that dead person is a terrorist,a martyr,a government official ,anything! Death is above everything else,I mean no one would like to have his death photo circulated all over the internet and print or broadcast media! Who would like that?? It is immoral to me. So if I had my newspaper,I will ban the appearance of such images all together.
I would just like to mention,that today,and for the zillion time,I was bombarded with a truly graphic image of dead boy,right at the homepage on my Facebook account. I’m subscribed to an online service of news flashes,minute by minute updates about the events happening in the region. Sometimes,they support those news flashes with images. That’s fine. But why did they post this horrifying image to us? I suppose not all people will find it horrifying. But still, What happened to the sanctity of death? This boy is supposed to be a martyr, A Syrian boy who was murdered by the dictator Bashar Al Assad in Syria.
If they meant to post it,in an attempt to let others sympathize with the Syrian case, Then I call it an emotional abuse.
By the way,The idea of this post was inspired by Chris Brogan ( a well-known blogger) who had posted ideas for others to blog about in his website., and by my experience and frustration by the things I see in the media.


I know how hard it is to raise a child, to give them all the tools of life to further aid them in their future lives,and help build their characters.

I find there is a thin line between “shaping” your child’s character to fit your expectations,and dicipelining them. Someone once told me that youngsters can so easily be adjusted to fit your expectations,it all depends on how you shape and sculpt and mode their lives.

Honestly,I can’t help but notice fatal mistakes adults commit when they raise their kids. Parenting isn’t just about teaching them to wash their hands after eating,or brushing their teeth before they go to bed,or having them wear slippers and not to walk around bare foot. Yeah that all sounds fine ,but I know a little girl,about 8 years old,who I think was a victim of ill-treatment and an ignorant parenting style. But first,here’s a brief intro of how I got to know her.

Her grandmother and us have been neighbours for some 20+ years now. Her grandmother is cool and nice, but she does have some irritating rules that repel kids. Let’s face it,if you want you’re grand kids to come and enjoy their stay,you have to allow and to expect some mess here and there. So ,these kids are not allowed to jump on the bed,have more than one candy bar and so on. I like kids very much,so I used to joke with her and be really nice to her,so she wanted to come over and visit me whenever she visited her grand ma. That was like 5 or 6 years ago when she was little. Years have passed,and still she likes to come over.But she doesn’t want to comprehend the fact,that she’s older now and can do everything on her own. And sure as hell you can’t treat and dazzle an 8 year old person like a toddler.But she expects that from me.

Let me tell how what I saw:

1.She NEVER uses the words Thank you or please. When she wants something,she orders you. Get me 7-up,cook me some chicken. As an example. Like,who the hell do you think I am? your butler?

2.Drops off uninvited,and if she finds you sleeping,she wakes you up. Didn’t your mother ever tell you that you should never wake someone up like that? Needles to say,Dropping off uninvited may not be welcomed at all times.

3.Never knocks on the door: She once slammed the door open and my 21 year old brother was putting on his pants,then he found her yelling at him” turn on the AC for me!” He went all wild and furious with her,no wonder he likes her A LOT.

4.Too many orders: She doesn’t enjoy her stay at her grandma’s house that much because of all the restrictions, and you know,some kids are too needy and winy, they always demand things from you,Chips,soft drinks,chocolate and other sweets,and she’s not allowed to have that at her grandma’s house whenever she needed. So when she comes over,she expects and wants to be pampered and fully taken care of. Did this suddenly appear as my responsibility or something?

5.Her voice is too loud:I mean,it’s annoying! I’m gonna teach my kids to speak in an audible tone,not too loud  and not too damn low that you hear nothing.

All am saying is,a few simple ,yet hard to teach ;things, can either make you seem like a decent person,or otherwise. That’s why parenting is hard and scares the hell out of me.

Do Men Really Like “Bitches”?

Have you read that book called “Why men love bitches”? I did not. Because am not interested in those kinds of books anyways. It’s like in that movie,the Ugly Truth,when Mike Shadway (Gerard Butler) said”Millions and millions wasted on this bullshit,you wanna be  lonely then that’s fine,keep reading these stupid books”.

I had a friend on Facebook who posted that link ,about why men love bitches. This is like a short review of the book,as to why men are attracted to stronger women.I can say this can be understood as mere “generalizing” in categorizing men.

Do you think that men of all races think the same? Sure not. Hispanic men can be different from American ones,who can be different from Europeans,who can be different from Arabs ,who can be different from Asians!

How men were brought up in different geographical locations makes it hard to generalize and say that men prefer stronger women.

To illustrate my point, Arab men beg to differ, they always claim and hang on to this old proverb that : The strength of a woman,lies in her weakness. The more weak and vulnerable you are,the better you’re perceived.They tend to mock women with high aspirations,determination to reach their goals,and those who have opinions of their own and tend not to join the bandwagon.

While some of them claim that they’re different,that they do admire strong women,when the time comes for them to step up and propose,they chicken out and choose someone who can be easier for them to deal with.They might call stronger women as  high maintenance.

But I don’t want to be unfair,There are those who like their wives to be successful,push them to do better,and think that his wife’s success,is his success too. In other words,they’re not threatened,they’re secure with their masculinity. (But they are the minority in the Arab world).

Men are not identical duplicates from each other…

Their personalities are different

Their ethnic group says a lot about how they think and behave

Their history and upbringing determines their choices

Some men love strong women,some men love vulnerable and weak women. Why on earth would you bother yourself and try to fit into someone’s criteria of perfect?

You are who you are,regardless of how long you fake your inner strength. Nobody can live a lie forever you know. So instead of wasting all this time and energy,be yourself,act normally and don’t hide behind a fake mask that you’ve created. You might impress someone,when you don’t try to impress them in the first place.

That’s just how I think.

The Friendship Don’ts

As cliché as it is, it has been ongoing inside my mind for a while.Specially after I ended my friendship with someone I knew from college a couple of months ago.

To cut it short,I’ll tell you how can you ruin a friendship or let it deteriorate quickly (In my humble opinion):

A.Invade their privacy: Become too available,hunt them wherever they go,ask inappropriate questions,stop by their place uninvited.

B.Pointing out flaws: Whether it’s their choice for outfits,partner (for girls this could be like a deal-breaker,specially if she really loves and respects him),approach in parenting,hairstyle…etc the list is endless. There is a thin line between giving some kind advice,and pointing out flaws. C ‘ amon, even preaching has its rules!

C.Borrow money and never return it: Gosh I loathe that. The way someone can so easily ask for some money and just never gives it back,I don’t know it its intentional or they just forget it about it.It can be really annoying if you don’t have what it takes to ask for your money back. Am talking about a sum less that 50 LE or$$. But if it’s a lot more than that…Hell yeah,I’ll demand it,firmly. It’s just rude and irresponsible. When you ask for money you should make sure you can return it…right? I might also say that it’s the general idea of borrowing “stuff” and not returning them, such as a camera,a book,a DVD or just a purse(girls -only thing).

D.Brag about how rich you are: Who on earth can do this,and have any doubts that people might hate them afterwards?! How lame…Did I ask you how much your dad paid for his God damned car? Did I ask you how much money he has in his bank account? Did I ask you about how much you get for your allowance each month?! How can people think they can get away with this without being severely criticized? Or being thought of as snobbish and incredibly boring?! I’ll tell you one thing: The more you brag about that,the more I am dead sure that you suffered some terrible economic conditions in your childhood or had a very humble upbringing(I’m not saying that humble upbringings are bad or shameful,on the contrary,it is bad and shameful when you try to show off and prove to everyone that you’re richer than them,its pathetic and annoying). Drives people away…isn’t it?

E.The general idea of bragging and showing off: Wheather you brag about how clever you were in school,how many boys/girls wanted so badly to date you back then,how manage to know everything about everything,and everyone..aka Miss/Mr. Know it all type thing…sometimes when others take it too far,I begin to doubt if their whole story is even true!

F.Become a lazy ass: Enough said! Some folks just like to hang out more often,that requires that you can “easily” get your ass out of the house and meet them. They don’t wanna hear: Oh but my mom won’t allow me to (believe me,some 20+ human beings still do it), or ohh…that’s too far, can you come and pick me up? why can’t you take a taxi ? or even suggest that someone  meets you half way for instance?! If I come and pick you 2 or 3 or even 4 times,I won’t do it again…Hell am not your driver!!

That’s enough for now,there are tons of other stuff that you can do to repel others, intentionally or just by acting “normally” according to what’s normal to YOU. What’s normal to you is NOT normal to others! It would be just easier to stick to rules and etiquette for sustaining a friendship..isn’t it?

The New Facebook

Image representing Facebook as depicted in Cru...

Image via CrunchBase

Ever since I started using Facebook in 2007, just for sheer fun ,wasting time, and trailing my then “my only love”, it has been a true social networking site. Just a window that I can peak from and know all the gossip,who broke up with who,who’s teasing her boyfriend by posting new images of her with other guys…and the funny,sometimes interesting videos that my friends posted…

Not to mention the “interesting” sometimes, meaningless comments that we tended to post to each other now and then,and tagging very lame photos of each other and laughing our asses off. For me, Facebook has helped me re-connect with old school friends,those people who I thought will never see or hear their voices again,now we’re in touch and know a good deal about it each other,which is cool. To see that shy girl who used to sit at the very back at the classroom,now acting very baldly,skimpy dresses on,many boyfriends. Funny how people change you know.

But that’s not the point of this post,that was an introduction to the reality of Facebook before January 25th (The Egyptian Revolution). It’s true that many youth used FB platform to voice their opinions and organize events,political events I mean.But again,those events weren’t on the front line ,they were among other events and stuff,nothing really special about them so far,but our ex- government used to survail  all of that and would cross the line sometimes and detain young men and women for posting any anti-government comment or event.

So in turn,Many FB users refrained from posting,liking or even commenting or sharing any political links,events,notes done by others or any of that;passive internet users to cut it short.

During our revolution,that gap of fear and passiveness among youth has drastically changed, people weren’t scared of posting statuses  like “To hell with Mubarak” and other statuses  condemning the terroristic acts done by the government.

It’s like we didn’t care anymore if these statuses were surveiled or not, as if we had that gut feeling that Mubarak is leaving, taking with him all the past 30 years of oppression injustice and cruelty … Because the number of protestors were escalating by the day and nothing seemed to stop them . Not the rubber bullets,or regular bullets,or heavy beating,or even being detained and sent to nowhere like what happened with millions who dared to oppose Mubarak and his clan.

Many,if not most of the people became suddenly interssted in politics. they started sharing online news articles from various all-news websites ,others commented,others re-shared,others wrote their own notes about what they think should happen or what they predict would happen. every one seemed to be connected again,engaging in real meaningful online discussions ,it was that sense of liberation or something that I cannot describe.

A group of egyptian young people started their own online news broadcast,which quickly became very popular within a few days,they posted a minute by minute news flashes,they had their own team of reporters and photographers who worked hard to get these news items on time,and safe to say,most of them were accurate.

Ever since the revolution broke out,my news feed now has nothing but news,follow up news with what’s going on in Egypt specifically and the region in general. People have nothing to talk about except politcs  now!

I can hardly find in my news feed the regular stuff that I used to see before,tagged images of other friends, the famous”I’m bored” statues and stuff like that.

There’s this new facility in Fb now which is the “Question” facility,where you pose a question and provide 3 possible answers and let your friends answer them. Let me tell you,99% of what I see are all politics- related…

Is that a phase that will cease to exist at some point? Or is that the new Facebook in Egypt that will never go back to its original state?

I understand that what happened was a major thing ,which doesn’t occur everyday, I like to compare it to an earthquake,and we’re in the aftershock phase now. That this social mobility is one normal consequence for that revolution. It may last for quite sometime,God has the answer to that!

Peace out

Re-Devoted to Politics

Amr Moussa

Image via Wikipedia

Ever since our revolution broke out on the 25th of January this year, The majority of us as Egyptians re-founded their lost interest in politics. In the past 20 years, Speaking your mind out about what you really thought of the president or the regime was considered a taboo.But the last 10 years of Mubarak‘s ruling had a teeny tiny bit of freedom,but again,with very strict rules.

And I can’t count the number of bloggers,journalists and political activists who were sent to detention camps because they thought they had enough freedom of speech…..

Anyways,am not willing to devote this blog to writing about politics. Am just happy with the political mobility that is on going these days in Egypt, and I am one of the people who use Facebook as their platform,to openly discuss which ever comes to mind and what we think of the potential candidates.

I never thought that a revolution could break out,better yet,result in ousting Mubarak and his clan. Which meant,having a healthy atmosphere for free elections. At the moment,we have 6 presidential candidates. I can say with all honesty, I feel torn,choosing between two tough and well qualified candidates. Having already ruled out four because they weren’t convincing enough,and seemed too daring,and willing to take uncalculated risks.

Those 2 that I think are qualified and capable for this stage are :

  • Dr Mohamed El Baradei: Worked as the General Director for the  International Atomic Energy Agency, and a Nobel Prize winner  for Peace in 2005. (Without going through detail of his programme or Agenda).
  • Mr.Amr Moussa: He’s an Egyptian diplomat who served as the Minister of Foreign Affairs for 10 years, was appointed as a permanent representative of Egypt at the United Nations for also 10 years, and held the position of the Secretary General of the Arab league .

That’s just my humble opinion,I might be wrong and I might be correct about those choices. Certainly all the potential candidates are now preparing for their up-coming campaigns and attending high rated talk shows to further boost their reputation and to introduce the people to their political orientation.

Definitely someone who opposes the 1979 Camp David Peace treaty with Israel is over estimating his power. Nevertheless,subjecting our country to endless negative complications that can occur upon cancelling this treaty. Our country is moving towards what we call a “transitional phase”. Almost as if you’re starting from scratch and trying to clean all the fungus that has been there for over 30 years. What kind of reform will that be when you push the country to a war with neighbouring Israel?! I’m not saying our army isn’t qualified,no it is. But you just cannot re-establish a country ,whilst engaging in a war with another country. That’s just what I think.

Please,Don’t disturb.

I thought I should write about my new year’s resolutions and expectations , but something else triggered me to write about.

Graphic images. What is up with that?! I’m an Egyptian living in Egypt. And in case you don’t know,Our New years day was awfully sad due to the terrorist attack in one of the churches in Alexandria. The thing is,our most prominent news paper ;Al-Ahram meaning the pyramids,just today,published two horrible graphic images of the alleged suspect right on the front page. It’s disturbing,it’s terribly scary( to me at least,and kids I suppose).In short,I find it kind of rude.

Some people,like myself are too sensitive when it comes to stuff like that. I can’t watch an image of a dead corpse specially if it was severely battered ( those are the kind of images we are bombarded with in print and broadcast media).

If it’s really important to print these images, they might have just written a warning on the front page with a reference to the graphic images , because obviously,they’re not suitable for everyone to see!

It’s like you find yourself obligated to look at these horrible images,with no respect for people’s feelings or anything…

They stick with me,for like a week or something. You might find this childish,but I feel scared all day long when I see that by chance even.

The same problem persists in TV as well. Many all- news channels easily broadcast these images and or videos without prior warning…What if little children were watching? What if someone who can easily be “affected and disturbed” by things like that is also watching?! It’s insulting.

If I were an editor in some newspaper, I would definitely ban the printing of these images for the entire paper not just the front page. If someone is interested in that kind of stuff, they can just google it if they want to.Simple enough!

Just a question though,Do these newspaper editors think that graphic content is a human interest element or what?! My personal opinion: It’s too risky to generalize and think people will be interested.

Why LGBT sometimes make me laugh

Ellen DeGeneres in 2009.

Image via Wikipedia

I was recently surfing People Magazine .com, and I came through some celebrity photos, among which was Ellen DeGeneres and her “wife”. I’ll get to the point.

I then googled Ellen DeGeneres and her wife’s pictures,for some of those images where I didn’t look closely at, I had mistaken Ellen for a man. Probably because of her man-ish outfits.

What goes through my mind is the following:

1.Does she consider herself a male or a female?

2.Consequently,what is written in her Gender Criteria in her ID or passport?

3.Will she be offended if people relate to her as a man not a woman?

4.Does she have a mind-set of a man? Is she interested in what men find interesting? For example,Cars,football,WWE,porn,naked chicks and beer?

I’ve got more questions,but instead of boring you I’m not gonna write them.

If a lesbian woman wants to play out the role of  a male, doesn’t she feel stupid going to the men’s department to buy shirts and pants? Or maybe they go for Uni-sex outfits but still,how can she relate to herself ? Will she be offended if someone calls her chubby or fat like how normal women react or what?

It’s extremely confusing for me.The main question is,How do these people claim that what they’re doing “feels right”, and coming out of their closet was the best thing they’ve ever done,coming to terms with who they are and all that crap!

Worse yet,people congratulate them for coming out!

Who you are is what God intended you to be. If God created you with 2 ovaries and a uterus,you are a female. You’ll think,feel and behave differently from males.You’ll find that love occupies like 80% of your mind,you’ll always focus on details,you’ll have hormonal imbalances every month,you may find yourself complaining that your partner is emotionally unavailable,you find yourself interested in matters of the heart and emotions….the list of differences is endless. Take a look at this

The same thing applies for gay men too.

As for bisexuals,I’m not really sure what to say or feel about them, I might just say: pick a lane! how can you be interested in both men and women, can you relate to yourself as a man or as a woman or a new kind of species that you’ve invented?

Why can’t people accept who they are and how God intended them to be? I find that the true meaning of acceptance is not really there,some claim that acceptance can be translated into the acceptance of others ,even if they’re different,even if you don’t agree with their cause or belief. Another angle,You can accept who you are and just live with it,and spare yourself ,and us,consequently ,that dilemma.

I completely agree with accepting others even if they have  a different faith,different nationality or any other kind of  differences that you can imagine, except for homosexuality.I find it a sin, not  a virtue that you  can be praised for.

As for the transexuals,I find it kind of funny actually, the way a well built man changes his gender to become a woman,wearing make-up and a sleevless dress can be a good comic picture,it looks odd and stupid. Like who the hell are you,should I call you a Mr or a Miss or what??

Or a full grown woman with a voice of a 14 year old teenager with a few hairs on the face?! This is a mad world people,the end is near!

Why do people get so panicked when they turn 50?

I’ve seen Hugh grant on a TV show by Jonathan Ross,and he opened up about his fear of aging and stuff. He said he’s worried about turning 50,and he was thinking about going to “Dignitas” ( an Euthanasia group) in Switzerland.

What is so significant about this number? Does it mark the transition from being an adult to being old ? Franky,I don’t think it is.

I liked what some celebrities have said about it,that age is just a number.Doesn’t have to do anything with how smart,how loving and optimistic you are or can be.My mom and dad are still as youthful and joyful at heart,And I remember my late Granddad,he was old, but he was still very youthful and loving life to the maximum…I love that spirit,and I love those who believe that life starts after 60.

While there are people who just love life,there are those who just wait for their expiration date;aka death. I had a friend ,who told me when I turned 18,that I’m getting older now,my lovely teenage years and childhood years are soon to be over,I’m in the adult zone now,which of course wasn’t the case. But look at her perspective,see how gloomy that is?? What I simply told her was exactly like that: why don’t I go ahead and dig a huge hole in the ground,stay in it,and wait for the angel of death to take my soul??

There are stages in one’s life that you just have to go through, with each stage,you have a role to play.Just thinking like that makes me feel excited about experiencing something new. Anything new always gets me excited.

Maybe that’s the reason he freaked out. He once quoted himself as a ” sad old man”.I felt really sad for him. I imagined that I had the chance to cheer him up and help him in a way,maybe he can find a way out of this miserable zone by establishing a family,living alone can make it much harder…At least if he had a child, he would have a reason to live for. Maybe he thinks he was too busy focusing on his career that he forgot about aging and his future….

I think this can be a wake up call for all the guys and girls who never wish to marry in the near day they might find themselves alone,with no one to care for..or have no one care about them…

Marriage is a lifetime commitment that has promises of both the good ,the bad to come.

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