How motherhood changed me

I wasn’t evil before I had my son,but I was selfish to some degree.and I only had myself to worry about and no one else! I never thought of myself as thoughtful or compassionate.however,motherhood brought some interesting things that were hidden inside me that I never knew existed!

ArtMotherhood_detail

Setting priorities

So that means family comes first,anything else comes after that.I won’t ditch my sick boy and go hang out with friends,and I do it happily!

Sacrifice..
Now I even give up my favourite sandwich for my kid-willingly! I was never a food -sharer.ever. Now I am. Clever.

Always a hostess!
I’m very much interested in cooking , suddenly I felt I wanted to share my master pieces with everyone.and it started with my mom and bro. I am kind of addicted to the praise and self-satisfaction that comes with it.Like I wanna feed everyone..

Thoughtfulnes
My aunt had some health issues lately,So I thought:”Why not make her some savory muffins and go pay a visit?” Nothing says I care like a homemade muffin.Right?

A lot of parents brag about the tedious chores and sleepless nights.But they seldom focus on these positive sides that all parents experienced at some point…

Things do change when you become a parent.but that’s one of the good sides of the story.

So tell me,how did motherhood change you?

Parenting

I know how hard it is to raise a child, to give them all the tools of life to further aid them in their future lives,and help build their characters.

I find there is a thin line between “shaping” your child’s character to fit your expectations,and dicipelining them. Someone once told me that youngsters can so easily be adjusted to fit your expectations,it all depends on how you shape and sculpt and mode their lives.

Honestly,I can’t help but notice fatal mistakes adults commit when they raise their kids. Parenting isn’t just about teaching them to wash their hands after eating,or brushing their teeth before they go to bed,or having them wear slippers and not to walk around bare foot. Yeah that all sounds fine ,but I know a little girl,about 8 years old,who I think was a victim of ill-treatment and an ignorant parenting style. But first,here’s a brief intro of how I got to know her.

Her grandmother and us have been neighbours for some 20+ years now. Her grandmother is cool and nice, but she does have some irritating rules that repel kids. Let’s face it,if you want you’re grand kids to come and enjoy their stay,you have to allow and to expect some mess here and there. So ,these kids are not allowed to jump on the bed,have more than one candy bar and so on. I like kids very much,so I used to joke with her and be really nice to her,so she wanted to come over and visit me whenever she visited her grand ma. That was like 5 or 6 years ago when she was little. Years have passed,and still she likes to come over.But she doesn’t want to comprehend the fact,that she’s older now and can do everything on her own. And sure as hell you can’t treat and dazzle an 8 year old person like a toddler.But she expects that from me.

Let me tell how what I saw:

1.She NEVER uses the words Thank you or please. When she wants something,she orders you. Get me 7-up,cook me some chicken. As an example. Like,who the hell do you think I am? your butler?

2.Drops off uninvited,and if she finds you sleeping,she wakes you up. Didn’t your mother ever tell you that you should never wake someone up like that? Needles to say,Dropping off uninvited may not be welcomed at all times.

3.Never knocks on the door: She once slammed the door open and my 21 year old brother was putting on his pants,then he found her yelling at him” turn on the AC for me!” He went all wild and furious with her,no wonder he likes her A LOT.

4.Too many orders: She doesn’t enjoy her stay at her grandma’s house that much because of all the restrictions, and you know,some kids are too needy and winy, they always demand things from you,Chips,soft drinks,chocolate and other sweets,and she’s not allowed to have that at her grandma’s house whenever she needed. So when she comes over,she expects and wants to be pampered and fully taken care of. Did this suddenly appear as my responsibility or something?

5.Her voice is too loud:I mean,it’s annoying! I’m gonna teach my kids to speak in an audible tone,not too loud  and not too damn low that you hear nothing.

All am saying is,a few simple ,yet hard to teach ;things, can either make you seem like a decent person,or otherwise. That’s why parenting is hard and scares the hell out of me.

Funny,How the ways of the world are…

Being a middle-eastern person, I have different perspectives of the things happening around me,than the westerns,the Americans to be more specific. I can see another side to each and every story,because am on the other side of the world. and not all people think alike for sure.

Personally,I don’t support gay rights or gay people.I’ve got my own reasons to that no need to explain them here. You can visit these websites to know what I’m talking about.

http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/homosexuality/ho0075.html#06

http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/homosexuality/ho0090.html

What triggered me to write my thoughts down, was the news about that teenage gay sophomore student who committed suicide. I can see all the media frenzy about that incident, and I saw the comments of readers regarding that in other websites,phrases like,how sad… or doesn’t that make you cry?? Actually,it doesn’t. For me at least.

If people were really that sentimental,and can easily cry and be provoked, Our mother earth will turn into this huge river of tears because of all the injustice and cruelty in the world. In my head I was thinking: Gay or troubled kid hanging himself because he’s discounted from his community, and on the other side, children losing their parents because of war/AIDS/starvation. Or children living in constant fear that their house will collapse in any minute because they’re living in a war zone. Or children who were forced into slavery and prostitution in Africa and Asia..or those Philippino kids who worked until their fingers got bloody,for 12 cents and hour….the list could go on and on and on.

Let me tell you something, I don’t know much about the life of this young man who recently committed suicide. He might have been deeply troubled, or maybe he was on drugs,or maybe he was fed up with the ways of the world and there was nobody there to listen to him. It’s not about him being gay that made him discounted, It’s an attitude problem among people who weren’t raised to understand the concept of “tolerance” as they so claim to adhere to. And yes, it IS cruel to see a young man treated like this among his peers.However, there are things happening in our world that are way worse than some guy having a hard time at school.

I can’t fake sympathy,If I’m willing to sympathize with someone,It should be for those who can’t find a decent meal to eat or a cozy shelter…I find it ironic really,if our world is full of kind ,caring,thoughtful,charming people,why is there war in Iraq? or in Afghanistan?  Is that what being civilized and humane is all about?? sympathizing about a guy who hanged himself and find no sympathy for those elders who die alone and then found 3 weeks later half eaten by worms, for example??!!

These are societal problems as I see it, and it happens everywhere, and they never end. But war,fatal diseases,and starvations are not societal problems. These are the things that deserve real sympathy,attention and care.

And all these problems still persist. and nothing seems to stop. All am asking is a little perspective! Did you get my point?

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