How motherhood changed me

I wasn’t evil before I had my son,but I was selfish to some degree.and I only had myself to worry about and no one else! I never thought of myself as thoughtful or compassionate.however,motherhood brought some interesting things that were hidden inside me that I never knew existed!


Setting priorities

So that means family comes first,anything else comes after that.I won’t ditch my sick boy and go hang out with friends,and I do it happily!

Now I even give up my favourite sandwich for my kid-willingly! I was never a food -sharer.ever. Now I am. Clever.

Always a hostess!
I’m very much interested in cooking , suddenly I felt I wanted to share my master pieces with everyone.and it started with my mom and bro. I am kind of addicted to the praise and self-satisfaction that comes with it.Like I wanna feed everyone..

My aunt had some health issues lately,So I thought:”Why not make her some savory muffins and go pay a visit?” Nothing says I care like a homemade muffin.Right?

A lot of parents brag about the tedious chores and sleepless nights.But they seldom focus on these positive sides that all parents experienced at some point…

Things do change when you become a parent.but that’s one of the good sides of the story.

So tell me,how did motherhood change you?


Happy days ahead


I was just talking with my mom on the phone.This “Talk” that you feel you need ,because both of you need the same things and think about the same things.

We were comparing two friends that we “had” and I came up with this conclusion: Aging can drastically change your mind-set..,here goes

I had a friend who would’ve easily been my best friend,but it didn’t happen.You see,I can welcome anyone in my life that I feel strong connections with ,on personal,mental and social levels..I can be a good friend,and I give good pieces of advice. But I will never allow someone to take me for granted. You don’t suddenly disappear from my life for a long time and then show up with no excuse,and expect us to be friends again! Sorry babe,not me.

Mom is the exact opposite,she was like,”Hey, I’m pragmatic. She needed me,and I needed someone to hang out with. It’s not easy finding a friend who you can relate to and share the same ideals!” In other words,she won’t mind it if that friend shows up again after a long time and wants to hang out like the good ol days.And then she said something like, If i was your age,I’d probably think the same way you do. But now, the perspectives are different.

This led us to talk about a decade ago,when we used to hang out with our family friends and had blast, every. time .Things have changed sadly,Some moved to another country,some have health issues that could prevent them from travelling and having fun in the sun,we’ve got little kids now who’ve joined the group..That good ol’ fun is not coming back,being able to travel and go to many places and dine in the coolest places and having the time of your strings attached! No way for us (as we see it now) to have this kind of fun again.

I don’t want to be ungrateful to all the cool things God has given me,But now I have the gift of a life time;My Son.Maybe God decided to take away certain things in my life,and compensate me with something even bigger !

Happy days ahead,that’s what I tell myself



Dear 2013,I don’t know what to say

So 2013 is almost over and I haven’t done anything I had on my check list. Except losing weight.

My son has been taking most of my precious time , and to be honest, I was kinda lazy too.

I wouldn’t write any New Year’s resolutions. I’ve had enough of these boring check-lists that I never stick too. But I will only write what am thankful for,And what I’ve learned.

Going green ( or tryin to): I recently hopped on the eco- train and decided to implement a new sustainable life style. So I decided to walk instead of drive, but only when possible.
Save on energy by using fluerecent light bulbs instead of the incandescent ones. Also unplugging equipment when not in use.

The only thing I CANNOT do, is to refuse plastic bags. I’ll talk about that later on.

I’ve learned that people only talk to each other when there happens to be a mutual benifet. Seldom you find ppl who ask about u out of the blues…

That’s it for now I just got too sleepy and my mind cannot go any further… Will be continued.


My biggest Dilemma

Is it my fault that I’m family oriented? That I always put the interest of my child/family first?

Because I always put family first,I’m torn between two options:

A. Traveling to Qatar to join my husband because he works there now

B.Stay in my country with my mom

I know you might be thinking,this is too easy, go with your husband!

but no,let me explain to you-if you’re interested to know-

My parents got divorced 8 years ago,and now my mom lives with my bro.I got married and moved to a new house of course,but we see each other almost everyday.Mom didnt get married after that and preffered to stay with us and spend the rest of her life “free” as she puts it. She had the option of getting married again but she refused it,she didn’t want to put more psychological pressure on us because my dad also got married again , and I wasn’t the least happy,it was hell for me. so she didnt wanna make it worse,in other words,she sacrificed a  lot for our sake.

Now she’s so deeply attached to my little boy Ziad who is 2 years old,she raised him with me if i might say. I cannot imagine leaving her and travelling to another country,I fear that she’ll be lonely or sad..I know my mom is a very strong person and she will never admit that,but she did a lot for me,the least I can do is to pay her back by being with her and attending to all her needs.I want to be there for her whenever she needed me,Which I wont be able to do when I am abroad..BUT,

On the other hand,The school system in Egypt is a wreck.Tution fees of good schools is sky rocketing,Which my husband won’t able to afforfd if he worked here because his salary wasnt that big. So,we always wanted the best for our child,and that’s the main reason why my husband claims he wants to travel for.

So,Being there for my mom and not leaving Egypt…or travelling so that my son can attend a better school? I cannot decide on anything,This is so messed up for me.



I know how hard it is to raise a child, to give them all the tools of life to further aid them in their future lives,and help build their characters.

I find there is a thin line between “shaping” your child’s character to fit your expectations,and dicipelining them. Someone once told me that youngsters can so easily be adjusted to fit your expectations,it all depends on how you shape and sculpt and mode their lives.

Honestly,I can’t help but notice fatal mistakes adults commit when they raise their kids. Parenting isn’t just about teaching them to wash their hands after eating,or brushing their teeth before they go to bed,or having them wear slippers and not to walk around bare foot. Yeah that all sounds fine ,but I know a little girl,about 8 years old,who I think was a victim of ill-treatment and an ignorant parenting style. But first,here’s a brief intro of how I got to know her.

Her grandmother and us have been neighbours for some 20+ years now. Her grandmother is cool and nice, but she does have some irritating rules that repel kids. Let’s face it,if you want you’re grand kids to come and enjoy their stay,you have to allow and to expect some mess here and there. So ,these kids are not allowed to jump on the bed,have more than one candy bar and so on. I like kids very much,so I used to joke with her and be really nice to her,so she wanted to come over and visit me whenever she visited her grand ma. That was like 5 or 6 years ago when she was little. Years have passed,and still she likes to come over.But she doesn’t want to comprehend the fact,that she’s older now and can do everything on her own. And sure as hell you can’t treat and dazzle an 8 year old person like a toddler.But she expects that from me.

Let me tell how what I saw:

1.She NEVER uses the words Thank you or please. When she wants something,she orders you. Get me 7-up,cook me some chicken. As an example. Like,who the hell do you think I am? your butler?

2.Drops off uninvited,and if she finds you sleeping,she wakes you up. Didn’t your mother ever tell you that you should never wake someone up like that? Needles to say,Dropping off uninvited may not be welcomed at all times.

3.Never knocks on the door: She once slammed the door open and my 21 year old brother was putting on his pants,then he found her yelling at him” turn on the AC for me!” He went all wild and furious with her,no wonder he likes her A LOT.

4.Too many orders: She doesn’t enjoy her stay at her grandma’s house that much because of all the restrictions, and you know,some kids are too needy and winy, they always demand things from you,Chips,soft drinks,chocolate and other sweets,and she’s not allowed to have that at her grandma’s house whenever she needed. So when she comes over,she expects and wants to be pampered and fully taken care of. Did this suddenly appear as my responsibility or something?

5.Her voice is too loud:I mean,it’s annoying! I’m gonna teach my kids to speak in an audible tone,not too loud  and not too damn low that you hear nothing.

All am saying is,a few simple ,yet hard to teach ;things, can either make you seem like a decent person,or otherwise. That’s why parenting is hard and scares the hell out of me.


It’s been so long since I’ve written something. But I wasn’t sure I had anything to write about.Although I’ve been through a lot, but I just couldn’t write anything I don’t know why…

I got married and went off to Malaysia for my honeymoon. It was great,I love travelling. I got to imagine how life would be like if I was living there. Clean streets,cheerful and peaceful people,somehow reasonable prices,great food,wonderful relaxing scenary…the list could go on and on and may never end. I miss it terribly.

I felt like a stranger in my own house, and I had that feeling that this house is just a temporary location for me,I’ll be going to mom’s house afterwards because this is what I call HOME. I felt like I was a guest at my own appartment….I had some difficult time adapting to a new house with a new bed and stuff like that.

Not to mention, adapting to a brand new life with my husband. We’ve been engaged for 2 years, but still, you get to discover some new things everyday.

I felt responsible,that was a new kind of responsibility. I was responsible before for my studies and my own life andd actions. But I felt like my husband is my resposibility too. I have to look after him and take care of his needs,fix dinner before he comes home,shop for grocerries,do the laundry,make a list for the house needs and Keep track of thr DAMN BUDGET. you know its hard when you walk down in a  mega supermarket and find 2339283938 brands of soap and shampoo,pasta,noodles,milk,cereal. I get all confused and might buy anything but the stuff I have on the list…Its even harder to shop when you’re hungry…That’s why they say never shop when you’re hungry. But what can I say? I never listen.

As much as I wanted to work, I kind of hesitated when I came back from my honeymoon. I felt burdened by all the stuff I have to make at my new house, and I was still adapting to living with my hubby,I felt I wouldn’t be able to handle both. Because the house chores really take a lot out of you. But then I thought of all of the other married women who juggle work and their house and kids.So,I forced myself to send out my CV and Cover letters to my potential employers,just in case anyone can reply and schedule and interview.

 That’s it for now,I’ll continue the rest tomorrow maybe or after that. Stay tuned..Or whatever

Why do people get so panicked when they turn 50?

I’ve seen Hugh grant on a TV show by Jonathan Ross,and he opened up about his fear of aging and stuff. He said he’s worried about turning 50,and he was thinking about going to “Dignitas” ( an Euthanasia group) in Switzerland.

What is so significant about this number? Does it mark the transition from being an adult to being old ? Franky,I don’t think it is.

I liked what some celebrities have said about it,that age is just a number.Doesn’t have to do anything with how smart,how loving and optimistic you are or can be.My mom and dad are still as youthful and joyful at heart,And I remember my late Granddad,he was old, but he was still very youthful and loving life to the maximum…I love that spirit,and I love those who believe that life starts after 60.

While there are people who just love life,there are those who just wait for their expiration date;aka death. I had a friend ,who told me when I turned 18,that I’m getting older now,my lovely teenage years and childhood years are soon to be over,I’m in the adult zone now,which of course wasn’t the case. But look at her perspective,see how gloomy that is?? What I simply told her was exactly like that: why don’t I go ahead and dig a huge hole in the ground,stay in it,and wait for the angel of death to take my soul??

There are stages in one’s life that you just have to go through, with each stage,you have a role to play.Just thinking like that makes me feel excited about experiencing something new. Anything new always gets me excited.

Maybe that’s the reason he freaked out. He once quoted himself as a ” sad old man”.I felt really sad for him. I imagined that I had the chance to cheer him up and help him in a way,maybe he can find a way out of this miserable zone by establishing a family,living alone can make it much harder…At least if he had a child, he would have a reason to live for. Maybe he thinks he was too busy focusing on his career that he forgot about aging and his future….

I think this can be a wake up call for all the guys and girls who never wish to marry in the near day they might find themselves alone,with no one to care for..or have no one care about them…

Marriage is a lifetime commitment that has promises of both the good ,the bad to come.

The Truth about homosexuality

I find an escalating number of gay and lesbian celebrities in Hollywood, which gives me the creeps really.I don’t believe it is “rightful” to be gay. I find it wierd and disgusting at the same time. Why can’t we find gay dogs or lesbian cats?? c’mon!!! animals don’t do it!!! so in order to think objectively, we can ask ourselves that question: why did God create a male and a female??? why weren’t we all created as Men or as Women?? there has to be a reason for it,moreover, there is -undeniably-sexual attraction between the 2. the reason for it is obvious, THE CONTINUITY OF LIFE.plain simple. so if u donate ur sperm in a sperm bank,and some lucky lady takes ur seed and fertilizes it,a baby is formed.done?? I don’t think’s utterly selfish to deprive a child from having a normal life,and I mean intentionally depriving that child of having a real family with a daunting mother and a smothering father. this is how God intended our lives to be,afterall.

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