How motherhood changed me

I wasn’t evil before I had my son,but I was selfish to some degree.and I only had myself to worry about and no one else! I never thought of myself as thoughtful or compassionate.however,motherhood brought some interesting things that were hidden inside me that I never knew existed!

ArtMotherhood_detail

Setting priorities

So that means family comes first,anything else comes after that.I won’t ditch my sick boy and go hang out with friends,and I do it happily!

Sacrifice..
Now I even give up my favourite sandwich for my kid-willingly! I was never a food -sharer.ever. Now I am. Clever.

Always a hostess!
I’m very much interested in cooking , suddenly I felt I wanted to share my master pieces with everyone.and it started with my mom and bro. I am kind of addicted to the praise and self-satisfaction that comes with it.Like I wanna feed everyone..

Thoughtfulnes
My aunt had some health issues lately,So I thought:”Why not make her some savory muffins and go pay a visit?” Nothing says I care like a homemade muffin.Right?

A lot of parents brag about the tedious chores and sleepless nights.But they seldom focus on these positive sides that all parents experienced at some point…

Things do change when you become a parent.but that’s one of the good sides of the story.

So tell me,how did motherhood change you?

Happy days ahead

nostalgia2

I was just talking with my mom on the phone.This “Talk” that you feel you need ,because both of you need the same things and think about the same things.

We were comparing two friends that we “had” and I came up with this conclusion: Aging can drastically change your mind-set..,here goes

I had a friend who would’ve easily been my best friend,but it didn’t happen.You see,I can welcome anyone in my life that I feel strong connections with ,on personal,mental and social levels..I can be a good friend,and I give good pieces of advice. But I will never allow someone to take me for granted. You don’t suddenly disappear from my life for a long time and then show up with no excuse,and expect us to be friends again! Sorry babe,not me.

Mom is the exact opposite,she was like,”Hey, I’m pragmatic. She needed me,and I needed someone to hang out with. It’s not easy finding a friend who you can relate to and share the same ideals!” In other words,she won’t mind it if that friend shows up again after a long time and wants to hang out like the good ol days.And then she said something like, If i was your age,I’d probably think the same way you do. But now, the perspectives are different.

This led us to talk about a decade ago,when we used to hang out with our family friends and had blast, every. time .Things have changed sadly,Some moved to another country,some have health issues that could prevent them from travelling and having fun in the sun,we’ve got little kids now who’ve joined the group..That good ol’ fun is not coming back,being able to travel and go to many places and dine in the coolest places and having the time of your life..no strings attached! No way for us (as we see it now) to have this kind of fun again.

I don’t want to be ungrateful to all the cool things God has given me,But now I have the gift of a life time;My Son.Maybe God decided to take away certain things in my life,and compensate me with something even bigger !

Happy days ahead,that’s what I tell myself

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Aside

The social media hoax

Have you ever felt that everyone else’s life is so much better than yours- Judging from their accounts on Facebook? You’re not alone !

This hoax, is when you give false impressions about yourself to your followers and friends on social media sites…you can type away about how wonderful your partner is,how good you are at your job and bla bla bla.

When the truth is, none of this can be real…such a sad fact of life.

Why do we write statues? Why do we share our images on fb? Maybe because it’s part of our nature as humans to seek peer approval and admiration…nothing wrong about that though.

What’s annoying is sharing an excessive amount of images and your plans on fb! I have a friend who does that,and gets not less than 30 likes per image! So I thought maybe she’s encouraged by all the likes and the comments,so she’s kind of addicted to it. Consequently,my newsfeed became loaded with her stuff that I have no interest in seeing in the first place,so the “unfollow” option came in handy.

Why unfriend them when you can easily stop their crap from reaching your newsfeed?

Oh and another thing, “public display of affection” on social networks.
I have another friend who basically does nothing but prove to the entire world how happy and successful her marriage is! It’s almost as if she has no life outside her family…she tags her husband in statues that can only be sent via private messages,like “how about a large pizza and sweet dumplings for dinner?”… Seriously,give us a break! Why do I need to know all that trivia about you and the hubby…clearly,am not interested. So again,” unfollow” or “I don’t want to see that ” coz it’s annoying!

Come to think of it ,a sign of a healthy relationship is having none to very little traces of it on Facebook. And why? Because I reach my partner in real life ,we communicate efficiently,and I don’t need to prove to anyone how happy I am,and I like to control the amount of info I share coz I like to have my own personal space,you know.

So to wrap it up. Leave those damned smartphones off your hands,quit living in your little cyber cocoon,get out there and SOCIALIZE.

Who should be on your wedding list?

Just now, I was bombarded with an awful number of questions about my plans and wedding plans. from who? one of my old neighbours. She has this reputation of sticking her dam nose into other people’s businesses ALL THE TIME. But what it comes to her stuff, she’s better than the CIA or the FBI in keeping that ,a secret. So its’ ok for her to ask, but not for anyone else.End of story.

While she may have a number of good qualities,people overlook them,because her one single flaw,is pretty big.

Is it respectful or even sensible, to go for a “soon to become” bride, and tell her that what if the wedding doesn’t turn out the way you like it? what about your furniture? what if they’re poorly made or have lots of flaws, what if you’re not able to finish your entire apartment by the time of the wedding?? why did you set the wedding in such a tight time frame?? lots of whys,hows,whos,whats…..I was really annoyed,I wanted to shoo her out of my house and tell her to scram…and most importantly,I hate it when I see envies in people’s eyes toward me. Ironically, those people were invited to the wedding. Now I really don’t want them to come.

This has gotten me thinking about who SHOULD be on your wedding list,I admit,I am one of the people who feel somehow obligated to invite other to my wedding or whatever,we’ve been neighbours for more that 22 years,so much history there,happy memories,sad memories.We shared a lot. So I guess,it is kind of rude if they don’t get invited…

But that doesn’t justify,in any way,her sticking her nose in my buisness.If you had seen the way she was talking to me you would have understood. She was amazed at how calm and sensible I seemed to be. It’s almost as if I should be panicking and screaming at the top of my lungs…as if there is something wrong with me.Can you imagine how lame and stupid that is??

Back to the main question. Who should be on your wedding list?

  1. Someone who loves you for you,and wants to share such a special occasion with you.
  2. Those who did actually invite you to their wedding before. You should definitely invite them. Otherwise,It would be rude if you don’t.
  3. Only the ones you consider “friends” , not your entire class at school or the entire neighbourhood just because you want to have a big wedding with a big wedding list. Believe me,it’s not about quantity.
  4. Party animals.Enough said. Sure as hell they will make it more fun then ever.They know what to do.

Now,Who should NOT be on you wedding list?

  1. Your single desperate mean spirited friends.They won’t show up at your wedding for nothing. They feel bad about themselves already for still being single,they might point out all the flaws in your wedding dress,food menu…etc or even your groom! They will attend in search for suitors…
  2. Jealousy-filled angry young ladies. She might be married,engaged,in a committed relationship. But she just can’t feel happy for you. Mental comparisons between her wedding and yours are constantly on her mind.Bad choice of guest if you ask me..
  3. Exes.Your ex-boyfriend,fiance’ shouldn’t be invited.In my honest opinion.Why the hell would you want your ex to attend? To prove that your over them?I think this is a bad sign.Because it means that you still care enough to prove something to them.

Needles to mention;If you have a single friend,who loves you,doesn’t envy you,You can help her find her suitor by inviting her .How bad can this be ,right?

Really lousy at throwing surprise birthday parties

Two days ago,My mother in law sent me a text message: Dearest Yasmine, Don’t forget Mohamad’s birthday today. Actually ,this wasn’t his real birth day. But due to several interruptions,it was postponed to October 6th.And he was pretty pissed at us because he thought that no one remembered it. we all did,but there was no actual celebration for it.

So we have secretly agreed that we shall throw him a surprise party at him parent’s house,We previously made our coordinations and everthing was set. No problems so far.

So it was 2 hours away from the start of the celebration,I called my fiance’ and asked him where he was, he told me he was out with some folks and they’ll probably go to the cinema to watch this horror movie…I panicked, if he goes to the movies, then our entire plan will fall into pieces….

I’m not proud with what am about to say,I was fooled,and so easily… He had already guessed that there’s birthday bash waiting for him, but he needed some confirmation.And I gave it to him on a Gold platter..no wait, its a Diamond Platter.

I’ve been engaged for two years to this man and still, he knows how to fool me!

I realized that throwing surprise parties is not that easy…

First: You have to make sure that the birthday person has no idea, or even a guess about it…Be ware not to let your tounge slip and or have a word vomit. Some people just can’t keep a secret…you can hardly rely on people like this you know.

Second: Make sure you know when is the Birthday person coming home,it would be a disaster if the person comes before the guests who want to surprize him…what kind of a surprise party is that?!

On another note I’d like to mention, it can be a true surprise if you do it a week before or even a month before the actual birthday.It happened to me 4 years ago. My friends back then surprised me exactly a month before my bday, it was so unexpected,such a joyous thing,and it came right on time! I remember that day I was horribly deppressed and it was such a great surprise to find them coming to my home with a cake ,pizza and drinks. It shows that someone cares enough, and doesn’t need a reminder on their mobile calender to remind them of it 2 days ahead..they remembered on their own.That’s was great…

Thankful for Comedy

It’s really a noble thing to do , to make other people laugh. they say that its much harder than making them cry. I don’t know about that coz I haven’t tried either of them.

I watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S. everyday,all day long I just never get bored with it. I remember the times when watching that sitcom was the only good thing that I can do to cheer myself up a little bit, it works!

I don’t know what could have happened to me if i hadn’t watched friends,because I can’t find a more freakishly funny sitcom as this one. some are just fine,like “according to Jim”, and “the fresh prince of Bel Air” and sometimes 2 and a half men. they’re all great . but nothing competes with friends.

I kept watching the bloopers of all seasons on You tube, and really laughed, from my heart, without faking it. coz I was alone and I don’t have to fake laughing, which is the creepiest thing I do. because sometimes I have to sit with people who keep joking about stuff that I normally would NEVER laugh at. In my head I call them,sympathy laughs.

One of my favourite scenes is when Ross tries to play the back pipes infront of his friends, to persuade Monica and Chandler to play at their wedding. (season 7) and many ,many others.

I do wish that they make a movie out of it. like what the Sex and the City people did and it was a big success.

To me, this sitcom will be there for generations to come, it will always be successful.

Socialization

When I was young, I can say with all confidence , I was a huge introvert. I guess I was born that way,I feared people and interacting with them,and that thing stayed with me for years until I got sick of my own self.

It’s when you set very high standards for yourself and start comparing yourself with others, your self-esteem goes way down, and if someone thinks that way, they probably have a low self-esteem anyway. so it’s a vicious circle, never-ending misery and self loathing.

It was when I went to college, that I had a huge make-over. I don’t want to describe it, but I can tell you that it has changed a lot in me.

I learned that you should never be picky when it comes to choosing your friends, and by that I mean , what really matters is the people themselves, not their social statues, financial statues, cool kids or nerds.. its nice and healthy to have them all. to elaborate more on that, let me ask you this: what good can come out of befriending “cool kids” who have no morals and can so easily stab you in the back ? what good can come out of befriending geeks and nerds who also have no morals, and may never help you in studying and only want you as companions during the assembly hour?? both are equally dull and useless. there are cool kids out there who have morals and ethics,and can truly love you. and there are also other kids, who come from  a modest humble background,and can also make very good friends who can be there for you in hard times. do you get my point?

another thing is that,I shouldn’t  judge people until I test them, or a test can come along without planning,suddenly something happens that opens your eyes and mind to things that you never thought they existed. sounds familiar?

I’ve experienced that it’s very important to make a good first impression when meeting new people ( in case you care about that in the first place). so that’s what I got from it

  • being too talkative repels people
  • talking about yourself all the time also does it, boasting about your culinary powers or how much money you         have really makes people loathe the site of you, they’ll think you’re a snob. or nouveau riche
  • being too quite is also annoying, when people start initiating questions, and you answer boldly,with just a few words,makes people think badly of you. you are either uninterested in them, or a snob who doesn’t wanna talk to “people” or someone who’s just too stupid to figure out the right words to say… not all people bother themselves to come up with excuses on why you don’t wanna talk. they judge (at least this is what I see).
  • when it comes to guys, being too showy of your muscles, and boasting about your powers and how strong you are and how many guys you’ve beaten to death is kind of a turn off,girls usually think this is pretty dull

I also learned that there’s no harm or danger in initiating conversations with people,I used to be afraid that people might act rudely or wouldn’t be as welcoming or friendly, but turns out , that there are lots of really nice people just waiting for a gesture from someone,,,you can never blame yourself  for trying it out.

I’ve seen that people, are not always who they seem to be. I’ve perceived  some people as incredibly annoying and irritating, but then I discovered that they are the absolute opposite, and they can be very good friends too. and vice versa, there were those people who you -at one point- considered them your friends, but then it turns out that they never were,and you were fooled.

Being too sociable gets you into trouble, I was never the “social butterfly”,but I’ve seen some of my friends “complain” about the misfortunes they’ve had when they befriended certain people,and how they regretted knowing them in the first place. there are 2 sides to that story. one that says, there’s no harm in making lots of friends, just keep an appropriate distance and you’ll be fine. another one says, you should establish a filtering system,not everyone can be suitable to fit in your ” circle of trust”.

to me, I side more on the 2nd side of the story. I attempt to make friends with people who I like and want to get to know better, and I welcome those who I sense that we both have things in common, and someone I can feel familiar with at some point, not completely different from. I automatically drift apart from those that I have nothing in common with. it just happens, I never planned on using a filtering system, it just happens on its own… but that doesn’t at all mean that you shouldn’t have “acquaintances”.

I’ve read that quote somewhere, people change and they forget to tell each other! but here I am, telling those who read my blog that I’ve changed a little bit. not entirely,but a fair amount.

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