How motherhood changed me

I wasn’t evil before I had my son,but I was selfish to some degree.and I only had myself to worry about and no one else! I never thought of myself as thoughtful or compassionate.however,motherhood brought some interesting things that were hidden inside me that I never knew existed!

ArtMotherhood_detail

Setting priorities

So that means family comes first,anything else comes after that.I won’t ditch my sick boy and go hang out with friends,and I do it happily!

Sacrifice..
Now I even give up my favourite sandwich for my kid-willingly! I was never a food -sharer.ever. Now I am. Clever.

Always a hostess!
I’m very much interested in cooking , suddenly I felt I wanted to share my master pieces with everyone.and it started with my mom and bro. I am kind of addicted to the praise and self-satisfaction that comes with it.Like I wanna feed everyone..

Thoughtfulnes
My aunt had some health issues lately,So I thought:”Why not make her some savory muffins and go pay a visit?” Nothing says I care like a homemade muffin.Right?

A lot of parents brag about the tedious chores and sleepless nights.But they seldom focus on these positive sides that all parents experienced at some point…

Things do change when you become a parent.but that’s one of the good sides of the story.

So tell me,how did motherhood change you?

The Friendship Don’ts

As cliché as it is, it has been ongoing inside my mind for a while.Specially after I ended my friendship with someone I knew from college a couple of months ago.

To cut it short,I’ll tell you how can you ruin a friendship or let it deteriorate quickly (In my humble opinion):

A.Invade their privacy: Become too available,hunt them wherever they go,ask inappropriate questions,stop by their place uninvited.

B.Pointing out flaws: Whether it’s their choice for outfits,partner (for girls this could be like a deal-breaker,specially if she really loves and respects him),approach in parenting,hairstyle…etc the list is endless. There is a thin line between giving some kind advice,and pointing out flaws. C ‘ amon, even preaching has its rules!

C.Borrow money and never return it: Gosh I loathe that. The way someone can so easily ask for some money and just never gives it back,I don’t know it its intentional or they just forget it about it.It can be really annoying if you don’t have what it takes to ask for your money back. Am talking about a sum less that 50 LE or$$. But if it’s a lot more than that…Hell yeah,I’ll demand it,firmly. It’s just rude and irresponsible. When you ask for money you should make sure you can return it…right? I might also say that it’s the general idea of borrowing “stuff” and not returning them, such as a camera,a book,a DVD or just a purse(girls -only thing).

D.Brag about how rich you are: Who on earth can do this,and have any doubts that people might hate them afterwards?! How lame…Did I ask you how much your dad paid for his God damned car? Did I ask you how much money he has in his bank account? Did I ask you about how much you get for your allowance each month?! How can people think they can get away with this without being severely criticized? Or being thought of as snobbish and incredibly boring?! I’ll tell you one thing: The more you brag about that,the more I am dead sure that you suffered some terrible economic conditions in your childhood or had a very humble upbringing(I’m not saying that humble upbringings are bad or shameful,on the contrary,it is bad and shameful when you try to show off and prove to everyone that you’re richer than them,its pathetic and annoying). Drives people away…isn’t it?

E.The general idea of bragging and showing off: Wheather you brag about how clever you were in school,how many boys/girls wanted so badly to date you back then,how manage to know everything about everything,and everyone..aka Miss/Mr. Know it all type thing…sometimes when others take it too far,I begin to doubt if their whole story is even true!

F.Become a lazy ass: Enough said! Some folks just like to hang out more often,that requires that you can “easily” get your ass out of the house and meet them. They don’t wanna hear: Oh but my mom won’t allow me to (believe me,some 20+ human beings still do it), or ohh…that’s too far, can you come and pick me up? why can’t you take a taxi ? or even suggest that someone  meets you half way for instance?! If I come and pick you 2 or 3 or even 4 times,I won’t do it again…Hell am not your driver!!

That’s enough for now,there are tons of other stuff that you can do to repel others, intentionally or just by acting “normally” according to what’s normal to YOU. What’s normal to you is NOT normal to others! It would be just easier to stick to rules and etiquette for sustaining a friendship..isn’t it?

Really lousy at throwing surprise birthday parties

Two days ago,My mother in law sent me a text message: Dearest Yasmine, Don’t forget Mohamad’s birthday today. Actually ,this wasn’t his real birth day. But due to several interruptions,it was postponed to October 6th.And he was pretty pissed at us because he thought that no one remembered it. we all did,but there was no actual celebration for it.

So we have secretly agreed that we shall throw him a surprise party at him parent’s house,We previously made our coordinations and everthing was set. No problems so far.

So it was 2 hours away from the start of the celebration,I called my fiance’ and asked him where he was, he told me he was out with some folks and they’ll probably go to the cinema to watch this horror movie…I panicked, if he goes to the movies, then our entire plan will fall into pieces….

I’m not proud with what am about to say,I was fooled,and so easily… He had already guessed that there’s birthday bash waiting for him, but he needed some confirmation.And I gave it to him on a Gold platter..no wait, its a Diamond Platter.

I’ve been engaged for two years to this man and still, he knows how to fool me!

I realized that throwing surprise parties is not that easy…

First: You have to make sure that the birthday person has no idea, or even a guess about it…Be ware not to let your tounge slip and or have a word vomit. Some people just can’t keep a secret…you can hardly rely on people like this you know.

Second: Make sure you know when is the Birthday person coming home,it would be a disaster if the person comes before the guests who want to surprize him…what kind of a surprise party is that?!

On another note I’d like to mention, it can be a true surprise if you do it a week before or even a month before the actual birthday.It happened to me 4 years ago. My friends back then surprised me exactly a month before my bday, it was so unexpected,such a joyous thing,and it came right on time! I remember that day I was horribly deppressed and it was such a great surprise to find them coming to my home with a cake ,pizza and drinks. It shows that someone cares enough, and doesn’t need a reminder on their mobile calender to remind them of it 2 days ahead..they remembered on their own.That’s was great…

Socialization

When I was young, I can say with all confidence , I was a huge introvert. I guess I was born that way,I feared people and interacting with them,and that thing stayed with me for years until I got sick of my own self.

It’s when you set very high standards for yourself and start comparing yourself with others, your self-esteem goes way down, and if someone thinks that way, they probably have a low self-esteem anyway. so it’s a vicious circle, never-ending misery and self loathing.

It was when I went to college, that I had a huge make-over. I don’t want to describe it, but I can tell you that it has changed a lot in me.

I learned that you should never be picky when it comes to choosing your friends, and by that I mean , what really matters is the people themselves, not their social statues, financial statues, cool kids or nerds.. its nice and healthy to have them all. to elaborate more on that, let me ask you this: what good can come out of befriending “cool kids” who have no morals and can so easily stab you in the back ? what good can come out of befriending geeks and nerds who also have no morals, and may never help you in studying and only want you as companions during the assembly hour?? both are equally dull and useless. there are cool kids out there who have morals and ethics,and can truly love you. and there are also other kids, who come from  a modest humble background,and can also make very good friends who can be there for you in hard times. do you get my point?

another thing is that,I shouldn’t  judge people until I test them, or a test can come along without planning,suddenly something happens that opens your eyes and mind to things that you never thought they existed. sounds familiar?

I’ve experienced that it’s very important to make a good first impression when meeting new people ( in case you care about that in the first place). so that’s what I got from it

  • being too talkative repels people
  • talking about yourself all the time also does it, boasting about your culinary powers or how much money you         have really makes people loathe the site of you, they’ll think you’re a snob. or nouveau riche
  • being too quite is also annoying, when people start initiating questions, and you answer boldly,with just a few words,makes people think badly of you. you are either uninterested in them, or a snob who doesn’t wanna talk to “people” or someone who’s just too stupid to figure out the right words to say… not all people bother themselves to come up with excuses on why you don’t wanna talk. they judge (at least this is what I see).
  • when it comes to guys, being too showy of your muscles, and boasting about your powers and how strong you are and how many guys you’ve beaten to death is kind of a turn off,girls usually think this is pretty dull

I also learned that there’s no harm or danger in initiating conversations with people,I used to be afraid that people might act rudely or wouldn’t be as welcoming or friendly, but turns out , that there are lots of really nice people just waiting for a gesture from someone,,,you can never blame yourself  for trying it out.

I’ve seen that people, are not always who they seem to be. I’ve perceived  some people as incredibly annoying and irritating, but then I discovered that they are the absolute opposite, and they can be very good friends too. and vice versa, there were those people who you -at one point- considered them your friends, but then it turns out that they never were,and you were fooled.

Being too sociable gets you into trouble, I was never the “social butterfly”,but I’ve seen some of my friends “complain” about the misfortunes they’ve had when they befriended certain people,and how they regretted knowing them in the first place. there are 2 sides to that story. one that says, there’s no harm in making lots of friends, just keep an appropriate distance and you’ll be fine. another one says, you should establish a filtering system,not everyone can be suitable to fit in your ” circle of trust”.

to me, I side more on the 2nd side of the story. I attempt to make friends with people who I like and want to get to know better, and I welcome those who I sense that we both have things in common, and someone I can feel familiar with at some point, not completely different from. I automatically drift apart from those that I have nothing in common with. it just happens, I never planned on using a filtering system, it just happens on its own… but that doesn’t at all mean that you shouldn’t have “acquaintances”.

I’ve read that quote somewhere, people change and they forget to tell each other! but here I am, telling those who read my blog that I’ve changed a little bit. not entirely,but a fair amount.

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