A stranger knocked on my door

At 7 am,that’s right. I was half awake and heard the doorbell ring… I didn’t look at my watch to see what time it is

I thought it was the cleaning lady coz she comes over twice a week,today was her 2nd day.

I opened up to see a strange lady instead. Veiled and dressed in black from head to toe,I was like,”who  are you?!!” She uttered some words that beggars usually say and said that her name is Ne’ma and she comes over every year !!

First off, I’ve been living her for almost 2 years and I’ve never seen u!

Secondly,in case you don’t know,we”re in Ramadan,where Muslims fast from dusk to dawn for 30 days. And it just so happens,beggars fill the streets. Cause they believe people tend to be more generous and kind during this time…but We got used to seeing this. However, ringing on my door at 7 am this is the creepiest thing that ever happened to me… I said sorry I gotta go,sorry I gotta go again and shut the door.

What was I supposed to do? Give money to some stranger who might be a con or a burglar or a prison escapee!
She can easily come back for more and I won’t be able to stop her…

Plus ,I think this is some sort of abuse…Why do u demand money from others when you”re not offering any service in return? Just because it’s Ramadan,does it mean that I have to give u money? Absolutely not!

Which leads me to think, a woman in her 30s who comes and knocks on doors climbs all those stairs might be in pretty good health. So why not work instead of begging?! God knows her true financial situation but because of the huge number of beggars,am starting to doubt the whole thing.

How she even got to the building,that’s another issue.the door is supposed to be closed and no one can enter unless one of the residents opens it for you through the intercom. Maybe the door was already opened. I dunno. But am scared.

Marriage

“Marriage is hard. I don’t know how do people do this,It’s unnatural,men and women,are not meant to co-exist”. I am gonna side with Ashton Kutcher on this one.Just a bit.

Just today I was thinking,what the hell did I do to myself? Why the hell did I get married?! My fairytale dreams of post marital life are gone,they’re replaced with more realistic ones and discovering new things,about my hubby and myself.

Six months have passed since we said “I do”, I can say whole heartedly,I only felt like a married couple t for about a month or so,the remaining months were at my mom’s house. Reasons are plenty..

First,My appartement is located in a place that is mostly under-construction, So there isn’t enough security around the place,No neighbours yet,cause the building is still new,and no super intent.Not to mention,It’s really scary to live in the desert!

Second,As you’ve heard of the Egyptian Revolution that broke out on January 25th of this year,and the withdrawal of security forces from the streets,and the release of dangerous prisoners,It was clear that staying in a poorly inhibited mansion would be a crises. It was dangerous ,so again ,we went to my mom’s house.

Oddly enough,that decision to leave our house and live with my mom and brother for a while was a mistake. It made me realise the importance of what I call “the quality-alone time” for both of us. Its not that my mom and brother don’t give us a fair amount of privacy or anything,but knowing that we’re living among other people,in a place that isn’t ours,drifted us away for some time.

I noticed that my husband isn’t attached to me anymore,or the house,ultimately. He started spending more time with his friends ,to the extent that I thought he was a bachelor again. Frankly I didn’t think for an instant that living some place else can place such damage,my mom always said that we should live together alone like a husband and a wife,but she also said that its we have no other choice now,I can’t live there in the desert all by myself till my husband comes back from work.Burgulars and other prisoners were out loose in the streets,and several accidents have been reported of them breaking in houses and stealing,some rape crimes were also reported, It was a mess!

I also became distant from him,I barely saw him.His time was divided between protecting the street among other residents,working and sleeping. the thing is,during the time he used to spend guarding the street at night,he was accompanied by his neighbours and friends,so It was a  fun time for his as well,he got to spend more time with them.It was a bad time for us indeed,The revolution took its toll on us! But I don’t blame it,I mean I’m thankful for God that this has finally happened.

That incident opened my mind to something.Couples should “train” each other to be more indulgent and commited.It’s easy to feel not committed when you’ve got no children or bills to pay. Yes,we paid no bills during our stay at mom’s house,and we don’t have children yet,no schools to attend,nothing! So it was like we’re married but not functioning as a couple.Weird.

I took the matter for granted,thinking I’d be too stupid to stop my husband from seeing his friends or spending time with them,I made it seem like it was no big deal to me, and that its was rightful for him to have this need to spend time with them joking around and talking nonsense. I took it too far,and so did he.

Little by little we distanced ourselves from each other,untill that moment came,we had a terrible huge fight,he left mom’s house,and I left it too,I went to our house as a couple and I stayed there all alone thinking he wouldn’t come cause we had a terrible fight,and I didn’t tell him that I was heading off to our house. He took some time to blow off his steam and he came. We decided to live together at this house no matter what,we finally realised how important it was and what we have missed all these months by not connecting and engaging in each other’s lives. It made me happier than ever,I felt like a real wife now who has responsibilities and things to look after.

So that is something that young married couple should look for,spend more quality time with each other alone,do something fun and interesting together.Because seriously,Not spending enough time for any reason comes with an awful package of trouble and a sense of loneliness for both of you.Something you surely don’t wanna experience.

….

It’s been so long since I’ve written something. But I wasn’t sure I had anything to write about.Although I’ve been through a lot, but I just couldn’t write anything I don’t know why…

I got married and went off to Malaysia for my honeymoon. It was great,I love travelling. I got to imagine how life would be like if I was living there. Clean streets,cheerful and peaceful people,somehow reasonable prices,great food,wonderful relaxing scenary…the list could go on and on and may never end. I miss it terribly.

I felt like a stranger in my own house, and I had that feeling that this house is just a temporary location for me,I’ll be going to mom’s house afterwards because this is what I call HOME. I felt like I was a guest at my own appartment….I had some difficult time adapting to a new house with a new bed and stuff like that.

Not to mention, adapting to a brand new life with my husband. We’ve been engaged for 2 years, but still, you get to discover some new things everyday.

I felt responsible,that was a new kind of responsibility. I was responsible before for my studies and my own life andd actions. But I felt like my husband is my resposibility too. I have to look after him and take care of his needs,fix dinner before he comes home,shop for grocerries,do the laundry,make a list for the house needs and Keep track of thr DAMN BUDGET. you know its hard when you walk down in a  mega supermarket and find 2339283938 brands of soap and shampoo,pasta,noodles,milk,cereal. I get all confused and might buy anything but the stuff I have on the list…Its even harder to shop when you’re hungry…That’s why they say never shop when you’re hungry. But what can I say? I never listen.

As much as I wanted to work, I kind of hesitated when I came back from my honeymoon. I felt burdened by all the stuff I have to make at my new house, and I was still adapting to living with my hubby,I felt I wouldn’t be able to handle both. Because the house chores really take a lot out of you. But then I thought of all of the other married women who juggle work and their house and kids.So,I forced myself to send out my CV and Cover letters to my potential employers,just in case anyone can reply and schedule and interview.

 That’s it for now,I’ll continue the rest tomorrow maybe or after that. Stay tuned..Or whatever

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