How motherhood changed me

I wasn’t evil before I had my son,but I was selfish to some degree.and I only had myself to worry about and no one else! I never thought of myself as thoughtful or compassionate.however,motherhood brought some interesting things that were hidden inside me that I never knew existed!

ArtMotherhood_detail

Setting priorities

So that means family comes first,anything else comes after that.I won’t ditch my sick boy and go hang out with friends,and I do it happily!

Sacrifice..
Now I even give up my favourite sandwich for my kid-willingly! I was never a food -sharer.ever. Now I am. Clever.

Always a hostess!
I’m very much interested in cooking , suddenly I felt I wanted to share my master pieces with everyone.and it started with my mom and bro. I am kind of addicted to the praise and self-satisfaction that comes with it.Like I wanna feed everyone..

Thoughtfulnes
My aunt had some health issues lately,So I thought:”Why not make her some savory muffins and go pay a visit?” Nothing says I care like a homemade muffin.Right?

A lot of parents brag about the tedious chores and sleepless nights.But they seldom focus on these positive sides that all parents experienced at some point…

Things do change when you become a parent.but that’s one of the good sides of the story.

So tell me,how did motherhood change you?

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Parenting

I know how hard it is to raise a child, to give them all the tools of life to further aid them in their future lives,and help build their characters.

I find there is a thin line between “shaping” your child’s character to fit your expectations,and dicipelining them. Someone once told me that youngsters can so easily be adjusted to fit your expectations,it all depends on how you shape and sculpt and mode their lives.

Honestly,I can’t help but notice fatal mistakes adults commit when they raise their kids. Parenting isn’t just about teaching them to wash their hands after eating,or brushing their teeth before they go to bed,or having them wear slippers and not to walk around bare foot. Yeah that all sounds fine ,but I know a little girl,about 8 years old,who I think was a victim of ill-treatment and an ignorant parenting style. But first,here’s a brief intro of how I got to know her.

Her grandmother and us have been neighbours for some 20+ years now. Her grandmother is cool and nice, but she does have some irritating rules that repel kids. Let’s face it,if you want you’re grand kids to come and enjoy their stay,you have to allow and to expect some mess here and there. So ,these kids are not allowed to jump on the bed,have more than one candy bar and so on. I like kids very much,so I used to joke with her and be really nice to her,so she wanted to come over and visit me whenever she visited her grand ma. That was like 5 or 6 years ago when she was little. Years have passed,and still she likes to come over.But she doesn’t want to comprehend the fact,that she’s older now and can do everything on her own. And sure as hell you can’t treat and dazzle an 8 year old person like a toddler.But she expects that from me.

Let me tell how what I saw:

1.She NEVER uses the words Thank you or please. When she wants something,she orders you. Get me 7-up,cook me some chicken. As an example. Like,who the hell do you think I am? your butler?

2.Drops off uninvited,and if she finds you sleeping,she wakes you up. Didn’t your mother ever tell you that you should never wake someone up like that? Needles to say,Dropping off uninvited may not be welcomed at all times.

3.Never knocks on the door: She once slammed the door open and my 21 year old brother was putting on his pants,then he found her yelling at him” turn on the AC for me!” He went all wild and furious with her,no wonder he likes her A LOT.

4.Too many orders: She doesn’t enjoy her stay at her grandma’s house that much because of all the restrictions, and you know,some kids are too needy and winy, they always demand things from you,Chips,soft drinks,chocolate and other sweets,and she’s not allowed to have that at her grandma’s house whenever she needed. So when she comes over,she expects and wants to be pampered and fully taken care of. Did this suddenly appear as my responsibility or something?

5.Her voice is too loud:I mean,it’s annoying! I’m gonna teach my kids to speak in an audible tone,not too loud ¬†and not too damn low that you hear nothing.

All am saying is,a few simple ,yet hard to teach ;things, can either make you seem like a decent person,or otherwise. That’s why parenting is hard and scares the hell out of me.

Really lousy at throwing surprise birthday parties

Two days ago,My mother in law sent me a text message: Dearest Yasmine, Don’t forget Mohamad’s birthday today. Actually ,this wasn’t his real birth day. But due to several interruptions,it was postponed to October 6th.And he was pretty pissed at us because he thought that no one remembered it. we all did,but there was no actual celebration for it.

So we have secretly agreed that we shall throw him a surprise party at him parent’s house,We previously made our coordinations and everthing was set. No problems so far.

So it was 2 hours away from the start of the celebration,I called my fiance’ and asked him where he was, he told me he was out with some folks and they’ll probably go to the cinema to watch this horror movie…I panicked, if he goes to the movies, then our entire plan will fall into pieces….

I’m not proud with what am about to say,I was fooled,and so easily… He had already guessed that there’s birthday bash waiting for him, but he needed some confirmation.And I gave it to him on a Gold platter..no wait, its a Diamond Platter.

I’ve been engaged for two years to this man and still, he knows how to fool me!

I realized that throwing surprise parties is not that easy…

First: You have to make sure that the birthday person has no idea, or even a guess about it…Be ware not to let your tounge slip and or have a word vomit. Some people just can’t keep a secret…you can hardly rely on people like this you know.

Second: Make sure you know when is the Birthday person coming home,it would be a disaster if the person comes before the guests who want to surprize him…what kind of a surprise party is that?!

On another note I’d like to mention, it can be a true surprise if you do it a week before or even a month before the actual birthday.It happened to me 4 years ago. My friends back then surprised me exactly a month before my bday, it was so unexpected,such a joyous thing,and it came right on time! I remember that day I was horribly deppressed and it was such a great surprise to find them coming to my home with a cake ,pizza and drinks. It shows that someone cares enough, and doesn’t need a reminder on their mobile calender to remind them of it 2 days ahead..they remembered on their own.That’s was great…

I wanna be a grandmother

For someone who doesn’t have any kids of her own anyway, this need is, impossible.

what made me think about it was when I went to one my friend’s wedding last month. I saw how exciting and emotionally filled experience that it is. to have your son or daughter’s wedding, all the planning and the mixed emotions.. not to mention the feeling that all parents have when their kids are about to get married ( of course i know that from movies I haven’t experienced that) your little kids are grown up now, I bet that parents who get to that moment forget about all the trouble these kids have caused them one day, they’ll be happy for them, but sometimes its hard to let go. A real emotional roller coaster that it ,indeed.

when I think about my future,I always dream of having lots of grand kids,not my kids,grand kids. why is that? because its the easiest most sweetest thing to do. I mean my job as a grandmother would be to smother these kids,shower them with presents and candy, give them all what they want,let them play and stay up all night at my house if you want to…I think am gonna make a very cool grandmother.for you know,I’m gonna be the spoiler,that’s my job,at least that’s what I think and want…

I’m not gonna be in charge of anything serious here, except when I feel an huge urge to give them a small piece of advice,and to pass my knowledge and wisdom of all the years! am just being ironic here. but seriously, one way or another they’re gonna need someone to tell them what’s right and what’s wrong. let them hear some old sayings,that they’ll keep remembering even after my death, who knows? but again, its nothing serious, am just a spoiler grandma..

that’s how I want them to remember me when am dead. maybe one day they’ll read this blog and discover something about me that they never knew.. or maybe this blog would still be there when am over 50 years old, and I would search through my archives to find a very old post I made ..30 years ago.

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