My brain gives me some very good pieces of advice

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Indeed,I used to think about that unspoken flow of emotion between two strangers, and how they both feel it with the same intensity at the same time, that sense of comfort,excitement,ease,anticipation and sheer happiness upon seeing that person or hearing them speak.

And in my modest humble opinion,that spark goes off by time.I mean when the two start a relationship, these feelings take a different route,those feelings of excitement,anticipation and discovery of one another fade out, and new feelings fade in. Depending on how much they understand,respect and cherish one another, those wonderful feelings mentioned above transform into suspicion,or jealousy,or one of them underestimating the other,or both undermining each other’s personalities and capabilities. It’s when the wall of trust gets torn away,the relationship is doomed.

I can never deny, that during my two years of engagement,that I used to think about that spark and the magic I felt revolving around me and in the air. I used to be uplifted, I used to get carried away, I used to think I was dreaming and this is not the reality,I used to see other people as blurry shapes when I talked to him,either on the phone or just a face to face  conversation,things were different, I was different. And sure as hell he was different too.

But,things change.That’s how life is supposed to go,everything is susceptible to change. Now there is a tight bond-presumably- between us, there are more obligations, and it is a deep waters situation. Because engagement is a promise of marriage, and when the timing of marriage comes nearer and nearer ,suspicion and all kinds of crap just come out.

So now,I know i may never feel that spark again, I know I’ve had many ups and downs in this relationship,I know that we both did so many mistakes. But what if I follow my intuition, and decide to have that feeling again,that magical feeling with someone new. This will surely put an end to a 2 year serious relationship, but what will that spark actually add to me if I lose the one home that I was supposed to have but was destroyed by me?!

So it was that moment when I came to understand, that there is a lot more in life than twinkling sparks and magic in the air, I shouldn’t give away something that I so longed to have. How can those irrational feelings help me when am alone and single? But just to be clear on something,I can also be single and happy, If I knew I was making the right decision by keeping myself single,you know. But if hold myself responsible for ruining my relationship,being single and alone will make life  harder.

Marriage is hard.”Men and women, are not meant to co-exist” . That reminds me of Ashton Kutcher’s line in What happens in Vegas movie. At first, I didn’t fully understand what he meant, but now I do. It takes a lot of effort to support a relationship,to my utter surprise it’s not that easy! The most important thing, Respect,Understanding and love. To tell you the truth, I don’t think anybody can maintain those 3 things at the same time.